Guhhhh I have a big show tonight and I’ve been sick with nervousness for two full days. Every time I think about it my stomach and heart just go nuts on each other. It is not as important as I’m acting like, ugh! It’s just a chance to do some of my best material that I enjoy doing, for a theater full of people who want to laugh. There may be higher stakes, but the only way I can really “win” tonight is by having fun. Which I know I will. So this anxiety is a huge waste of time and health.
Anyway, in preparation for tonight, I took a break from smoking pot. I’ve only smoked two hits in the past 10 days, once for extreme nausea and once for being really angry and irritable over nothing— which really, is how I should be using my state-sanctioned medicine. As medicine, for real issues, not to bury a general sense of ennui (put there in the first place by smoking fun drugs all day every day, duhhhhh)
Here are some observations from 10 days with (almost) no weed.